Nigerian gay man: “Help, I am under pressure from family to marry”
Picture for illustrative purposes. Photo credit: http://www.weddingdigestnaija.com/
A worried Nigerian gay man wrote to NoStrings, that he is under pressure to marry a woman, and is confused, and therefore needs help.
Find his entry below.
Presently am facing serious pressures from my family,friends,colleagues and people within the community to get married.Even my family has introduced me to a lady and marriage fixed for December.The problem is that am not attracted to this lady nor any other woman,she has been with me sleeping on the same bed for three weeks now,but I have not made any attempt to touch her talk less of having sex.She even asked if I have feelings at all for women.I don’t know how to handle this problem,I have a gay partner whom I love so much and he understands my predicaments.he encourages me to get married so as to save myself the embrassment of societal stigma.what do I do?
Is really hard for me to say this my dear cos I know what is it to get married to who you don’t love. just listen to your boyfriend and try harder. remember we love u.
Some people that have knowledge of how the brain works say that if you put your mind into doing something your brain will gradually adapt. Just try and put your mind to have sex with just that woman in your life for the greater good. It’s the only option for you to have some peace in your life since you live in this part of the world. I know exactly how you feel…
Really? Are you saying that homosexuality is a learned behavior, and that if one focuses their mind on something else, then over time they’ll just stop having sexual attractions to fellows of the same gender? explain more please, it sounds almost like a cure, No?
Leave everyone behind. As radical as this may sound it’s your only chance at happiness. They won’t stop, they won’t change. You and your lover start a new life. If they can’t accept who you are. If they can’t accept the fact that you are living in truth, then they can only be a hindrance to you.
Brilliant!
you are right
You need to see a good counselor; many gays have married and become frustrated in Marraige, and it’s not easy to find a counselor that understands homosexuality. Don’t marry her no matter the pressure until you are able to deal with your Homosexuality through prayers and counseling. Don’t let anyone pressure you.