“God, why did you make me Gay?” Nigerian man laments his frustration

Black man cries to God

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An anonymous Nigerian man, who seems to be going through some very difficult times, has cried out, seeking relief from the constant pressure he experiences from the society who think it’s possible for him to change his sexual orientation.

Read below;

I am in deep pain. Growing up wasn’t this distressful but suddenly I’m beginning to lose hope in everything.

I am gay in a country where my kind are being despised and spat on, growing up was fun because of my discreteness and I wasn’t an outside person. So many people still do not know that I am gay.

My gay tendency only favors the older and more matured people, but growing up, I didn’t have the opportunity of meeting my type because of environment I grew up in. I was mostly alone and resorted to masturbation for satisfaction. At some point during those years, I contemplated committing suicide; I kept asking God why he chose to make me this way without providing an escape route. At times, I envy my “straight” friends; I do wonder why I can’t be like them. I tried to fit in but it was never me. When I got over my suicidal tendency after a brief online chat with Rev. Macaulay and Colins Coward, I began to accept myself for who I am even though I was still very discrete.

Now, I am in my early 30’s, the first in my family and the pressure is all on me now to get married. All my mates both while in school and the ones I grew up with have all gotten married.

My suicidal tendency is back, and I just want to die and leave all these behind.

I can’t live a lie; I am forced to live a lie. Nigeria is suffocating me. I need someone to love; I can’t find someone to love.

Help me!

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COMMENTS

Wordpress (7)
  • comment-avatar

    hello dear …pls don’t give up we are all here for you. we love you remember that. pls there is still hope awaits us.you need to stay strong pls.

  • comment-avatar
    john 3 years

    It is not an easy one, I must tell you, but be strong, in love we overcome. Your happiness is all that matter here, so follow ur heart. And always remember, we do love you.

  • comment-avatar
    Mohamed 3 years

    U just need be strong n also be who u are.its not easy tho buh just live ur life de way u want cus nobody is going live it for u.my neighbors suspects me of being gay cus I’m girly buh I live de way I want.

  • comment-avatar
    Chika 3 years

    Because He loves you and you are not a mistake of any kind like people may tell you, look deep inside you and see the real you and reason you are whom you re today …

  • comment-avatar
    Femi 3 years

    On no account should you think of killing your self. Just believe in yourself. It not easy but u can do it. Am also in Nigeria so I understand what you are going through. Love will find you and us all #Smile #xoxo

  • comment-avatar
    mike 3 years

    my dear, only God and Him alone knows y he created you the way u are, so don’t let ppls thinking make u feel inferior from other humans. whether gay or straight, the difference is just feelings that’s all. so be happy and try keep Gods command of flee from formication. thus, if u keep free from that u will be happy, do you know y ” u are neither making love with either guys or ladies “. so cheer up

  • comment-avatar
    Andrew 3 years

    Friend

    It’s extremely sad for people like us to live in our own country and yet be treated different. Just know that you are not alone and we are all in this together. Yes, it’s seems like everything is getting worst, but there is hope. Gradually our gay brothers and sisters , here in Nigeria are beginning to understand their sexuality, and more importantly accepting themselves for who they are. And that is the first step in this fight.
    What makes me glad is your acceptance. My advice to you as a brother is that if the pressure get worst from your family or friends, then opt for a cooperative marriage. Probably find a gay sister to be with, and live your lives. It’s hard to swallow, but that is the best advice anyone who shares your story can give. If you need someone to talk to, follow me on Twitter @KANDO001.

    In solidarity

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