5 reasons why a cover-up marriage isn’t a good option for gay people

For many gay individuals in countries with anti-homosexuality laws, the imperative to conceal one’s sexual orientation at all costs may appear as the sole means to survive and thrive. Moreover, grappling with familial pressure, particularly from parents and society, could contribute to the inclination to consider cover-up marriages.

By NoStringsNG Contributor

Photo for illustrative purposes only. Couple in Disagreement. (Photo Source: Istockphoto.com)

Another reason why many gay people consider heterosexual cover-up marriages is for their security and safety, especially in places where people are extremely harsh and violent towards gay people.

In conclusion, the reasons for considering cover-up marriages are diverse and complex, varying based on the individual, culture, and environment. However, the unequivocal bottom line is that cover-up marriages are never a favorable choice. Below, five reasons are outlined to underscore why it is an unfavorable idea and how it can have detrimental effects on everyone involved.

1. Deceptive Nature.

Before taking that decision, remember that being aware of your sexuality, and yet deciding to settle down with an oblivious heterosexual partner, is pure deception. In addition, knowing fully well your sexuality, and possible inability to function according to the rules and duties required from one in a heterosexual marriage is obviously wrong, and in clear terms, sheer wickedness.

2. Lack of empathy.

Before taking that big decision, remember that the other oblivious party is human, is a brother or sister to someone, and comes from a family where he or she is loved, just like you are. Thus, you need to place yourself in the shoes of the other party and ask yourself if the pressure to get married and stay hidden, is worth the future hurt to that oblivious partner. In essence, be empathetic.

3. Negative Impact on Mental Health

Cover-up marriages are detrimental to the mental health of all parties involved, but most especially the victim. Both or either party is likely to suffer from guilt, loneliness, unhappiness, sexual starvation, and experience marital crisis, which can lead to mental breakdown. In addition, on the discovery, the oblivious heterosexual partner is highly likely to be traumatized, fall into clinical depression, suffer from personality disorders, and may spend the rest of his or her life hating you.

4. Negative outcomes outweigh the positives.

Apart from saving face and appeasing family and society, which are not actual advantages, cover-up marriages carry numerous negative consequences. For instance:

• Exposure can tarnish the reputation of the homosexual individual and their family.
• It adversely impacts the mental health of both parties involved.
• It potentially creates a lasting adversary for the homosexual individual.
• It exacerbates the already challenging reputation of other homosexuals, among other detrimental effects.

5. Unjustifiable

Before taking that big step, remember that your reason(s) are not and cannot justify your decision to adopt this idea if eventually this comes into the open.

Conclusively, in as much as we acknowledge the negative impact of heterosexual cover-up marriages, it is also reasonable to state that society is largely unfair to gay people, especially in places where they are unable to live and express themselves authentically due to discriminatory laws and homophobia. Sadly, the trend of gay people marrying persons of the opposite sex will continue until they are liberated and allowed to enjoy all of the privileges granted to their heterosexual counterparts.